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Archive for December, 2011

The holiday season is a time for fun and relaxation, and of course, celebrating – it is also the perfect time to enjoy a few matchmaker dates and meet potentially compatible singles. Many busy singles find it hard to make time in their schedules for dating, especially as the end of year rush begins in earnest. With deadlines, social obligations and work functions to consider, it can be hard to find time in the day for yourself, let alone for dating. Once the holidays kick off however, you will be able to have all the time you need. This is the best time to join a matchmaker service if you haven’t done so already, but it is also a good time to keep a few tips in mind for dating over the holidays.

Some things to consider over the festive season include the following:

Stick to coffee dates if you are seeing someone new for the first time – even if you don’t have to worry about work the next morning, afternoon or morning dates are the safest and simplest option when meeting someone new through your matchmaker service. A relaxed coffee at your favourite hangout will ensure that you are comfortable in your setting, and will also take off the pressure to get through a long date that spans over two meal courses. If you hit it off, you can always extend the date or make a plan for a second date. If you do not feel the sparks, then you will have an easier exit strategy.

Avoid alcohol if you are meeting someone for the first time – another first date rule is to stay away from alcoholic drinks. While no-one likes to imagine anything dangerous happening on a date you have arranged through your matchmaker, it is never a good idea to impair your concentration. Besides that, your date may not look at you the same if they have witnessed you drunk and stumbling around. Drinking often causes people to make bad decisions such as going home with their date without knowing them well enough at all. You want to be able to get to know the person, and not in a bedroom sort of way either.

Holiday flings can be a confidence boost or a heart crusher – if you happen to meet someone when you are out of town for the holidays, or someone from outside your hometown when you are staying home for the holidays, remember that holiday flings can be just that a fling. Falling for someone who does not live in the same town as you do can be very damaging, but if you are not interested in anything serious, sometimes a bit of holiday romance can be just the boost you need to get you back into the dating game.
As a final tip, always make sure that you stay safe when dating over the holidays – whether it is someone you have gotten to know through your matchmaker service or a cute tourist with dimples!

Romantic fantasies are a great escape. It’s nice to relax and let your mind drift, but it’s important to recognize the difference between fantasy and reality. As women we sometimes expect our men to behave or reproduce what we see in our minds eye. This can be dangerous. . . when has anyone ever lived up to one of your fantasies? I’m sure that many women would have shattered images of “Edward” if they ever really got the opportunity to date Robert Pattinson. Sorry, don’t hate me.

In reality there is no such thing as a romantic dream come true. The truth is, that in any type of relationship we have to work to make our romance stay alive and keep it fresh. Romance is like a garden; you have to tend to it daily or it will begin to wilt. Don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not saying that there is no such thing as chemistry or truly romantic gestures, I’m simply saying that fantasies don’t just come true on a whim. Romantic gestures can be learned, it’s all about knowing what you and your spouse want and need in a relationship.
It is true that people, even those who are entrenched in routine, can be spontaneous. But knowing that your spouse can be spontaneous and understanding their core characteristics are two completely different things. If your husband is the kind of guy you can set a clock to, then waiting for him to spontaneously surprise you with a truly romantic gesture is probably going to leave you disappointed more often than not. I know you’ve heard this before, but communication really is the key. Most women who are left disappointed by their husband’s lack of romanticism would probably be astonished to find out that their spouses are completely ignorant to the fact.

If you really want to incorporate elements of your fantasies into your real life relationship then you need to make a conscious effort to introduce the two. I guarantee your partner isn’t a mind reader. Men are typically not subtle creatures, so you need to paint a clear picture of what you’re looking for in regards to intimacy. The key is time, patients and communication.

Romantic Realities are built on a foundation of what your genuine expectations from your lover are. Nobody is perfect, including yourself, so keep in mind that you and your spouse may not always be on the same page when it comes to intimacy. Like many aspects of a relationship compromises must be made. This doesn’t mean settling for less that what you desire, it is more about finding the realistic range of expectations and building on them. Going back to the “garden” reference it’s like planting seeds for new and exciting things that will blossom.

If you focus on communication the rest will come. Be honest with yourself and your spouse about what you want and need in your relationship. You should be able to express yourself freely and communicate with your spouse to guide him towards a more romantic relationship. Just because men aren’t subtle, doesn’t mean that you can’t plant a few seeds and watch them grow.

Getting your ex back doesn’t need to be complicated, but people do tend to make a few wrong moves because they’re reacting upon emotions rather than using logic and sense. Here are some quick and easy steps for you to follow that will point you in the right direction:

Step 1:

One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking they can simply talk their ex into coming back. This usually ends with you becoming emotional as your ex remains cold and distant. You do not want your ex to see you in this state. They will pull themselves further away because not only do they know you are doing it only to benefit yourself, you’re causing a scene and making them feel uncomfortable at the same time.

Instead act against your feelings and allow them the space they need. Be calm and co-operative.

Step 2:

During a period of no contact, you need to get yourself active and moving. The more you stay in one place obsessing about the relationship, the more likely you will want to contact your ex. You need to get out and about. Start exercising, do things that make you feel good, hang out with friends etc. Think about it like: you don’t have control over what your ex wants to do, but you do have control over your own experiences. So decide whether you want to stay home and be sad all day or go out and enjoy the time you have instead. Either way the outcome will be the same.

Step 3:

Gradually get back into contact with your ex. Let them know you still care about them and you’re thankful for the great memories you have shared. Tell them you would like to catch up sometime as friends. Appear upbeat and happy. Although you might be wondering how this will bring them back. Just think about how the relationship started in the first place. They didn’t fall in love with you because you begged them to go on a date with you. You need to let them slowly open up to you again.

Step 4:

When things are slowly going well, you can try asking them out on a date. Nothing serious though. If the thought of a ‘date’ scares them, simply don’t call it a date; rather just two people hanging out. This way they can rationalize it to themselves that it is not a date.